2017 Was One of the Best and Worst Years of My Life
2017 was one of the best and worst years of my life. The Fitness Marshall BLEW UP and we went from doing random gigs here and there to literally traveling the WORLD doing nearly 50 shows in just a year. My dream came true almost overnight. Everything was happening so fast and the success seemed to keep building and building. I remember feeling like wow I should feel on top of the world right now but there was this dark looming anxiety rushing through my body. I was genuinely excited about everything going on but simultaneously so debilitatingly anxious. I NEVER used to get anxious when I was performing but suddenly I started feeling so disconnected and out of body when I was on stage. It was like my body was on autopilot and my brain was trapped inside just observing. I remember feeling so out of balance and just needing something to ground me. I started doing little things here and there to try to bring myself back down to earth. I realized that utilizing my 5 senses were able to help me reconnect with my mind and body. I began looking at different objects in the room and paying attention to their details, I would take deep breaths and feel the air expand my lungs, and I would drink coconut water to feel it’s coldness flow through my body. The coconut water became a “safe thing” for me. I’m not sure if it was science or if was just my brain associating it with comfort but at every show I started to make sure I had coconut water on stage/backstage. I knew it was supposed to hydrate me better/faster than water and it was full of potassium and magnesium which is supposed to be good for anxiety anyways. I would also sweat profusely at shows so when I started to “derealize” as me and my friends call it, I would get MORE anxious because I felt like my body was dehydrated from the excessive sweat (and coffee I drink lol). Bottom line, it was something that made me feel like I was more in control. It was something I knew I could do that was good for my body. That was enough to help steer my mind away from the cliff of anxiety it was teetering on. Mental health is such a mind game (HA). There is no clear cut answer or magic pill to make life better. All you can do is try every day to learn more about yourself and what coping skills/actions work best for YOU. It’s a never ending journey of self love, understanding and action. Each day you know a little more about yourself than you did the last. Each day you get a little bit smarter than your demons. It’s okay to lose battles. Just remember you were born to win the war.
I believe things happen for a reason and it was really bizarre cosmic timing that ZICO coconut water reached out to me about working together. They had no idea that their product helped me through one of the darkest times of my life. I’m so excited to be able to share one of my coping tools with you all in partnership with the company who made it all possible. This is one of those dream collaborations because ZICO shares the same beliefs I do about self-care and accessibility to health and happiness if we make the choice to pursue it. Everyone deserves to live their best life. It’s up to us to take the steps to make it happen. #sponsored #ad
I’ll leave you with the dance workout I did with ZICO. It’s one of my happiest, most fun dances on the channel.
Love you all,